by Matt McDaniel
.June 30, 2009
Now, suspension of disbelief is usually not a problem for me. Tell me that a billionaire could put on a bat suit and swoop around fighting crime and I'll buy it. Or that a different billionaire could build flying armor in his basement. Or that in the future people will beam onto spaceships with their pointy-eared best friend. I'll accept all of it. I'll even take your word for it that a mechanized alien race can come to our planet, scan some cars, and turn themselves into vehicles.
That being said, there were moments in this new "Transformers" movie that were so confusing, so contradictory, or so corny that they completely took me out of the movie. Even days after watching it, some new inconsistency or plot hole would pop into my mind.
I can hear it already: "It's a popcorn movie. It's based on a bunch of toys. It's just supposed to be fun." And yes, all of those things are true. But that doesn't mean I can't ask questions about what in the world was going on. Here are the ten that I most want answered. (WARNING: contains spoilers).
1. In "Transformers," there was this giant battle in the middle of downtown Los Angeles -- excuse me, Mission City -- that was witnessed by thousands of people at the very least. But somehow the government was able to cover up the whole thing, and now the existence of alien robots is just an internet rumor? How did they do it? Pay off everyone who was there and quickly fix millions of dollars in damage? Also, didn't Keller (Jon Voight) go on TV and tell everyone we were being attacked by "a technological civilization far superior to our own"? How did they spin that?
3. Speaking of Megatron's rebirth, when the Decepticons venture deep into the ocean to revive him, the Navy crew tracking them reads five contacts. When they get down there, they tear apart one of the robots for parts to rebuild Megatron. Then as they rise to the surface, the same Navy guys say they spot six contacts. The little "Doctor" robot popped out down there, but he's about a third of the size of a person. Would he have shown up on sonar?
5. Apparently, Transformers can look like people now. How? And how is it that even though the robo-girl (Isabel Lucas) is made of metal, she can still straddle Sam without crushing him. And if Bumblebee knows something's wrong with her, why does he spit antifreeze at her instead of telling Sam? Yes, his voicebox is broken, but wasn't it fixed at the end of the last movie?
7. Sam, Mikaela, and Simmons (John Turturro) go to the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum in Washington D.C. to find Jetfire. Then they walk out the back onto a wide open field with old planes and mountains in the distance. When did the National Mall start to look so much like to Tucson, AZ (where they really filmed that scene)?
9. Sam briefly dies and goes to Robot Heaven. Robot Heaven?!?!
OK, so I went overboard at the end, but the questions remain. And I'm sure more will pop up next time I think about the movie. But the movie did make a ton of money, and it's earned a solid B+ rating from our users. Maybe I should go see it again. My questions probably won't get answered in a second viewing, but if I can just clear them from my mind I can be in Robot Heaven, too.
